Friday, August 12, 2005

Tabloid 8

Teen_Comedy had a huge rose ceremony for a single rose. He asked for rhyming crap and that’s what he got. Who got the rose? Who the hell cares? *clicks to change channel*

UB2019 and Jammer are huge flamers. And girls love big flames. They’ve said it’s better than small flames. Big flames are strong and make the girls all hot and sweaty. Who wants to touch their human torches?

Will, UKStyle, Elementsktgirl and Big Mac With Cheese started a drama club. Wanna join? Well they welcomed two new members Snake_Eater and Iwetarded.

Bombs have been going off all over BS City. Topanga has been hiding from the bombs.

Mvwriter ran off to Europe without saying good bye.

Jammer has announced he is leaving. Shock struck BSCity. Some speculate he must be dying. There’s no way he is leaving. And they were right he wasn’t leaving. Disappointment struck many yet not enough to cause a wave of caring.

Blayze2K’s hot tub has not been cleaned after the_rhino raped all the jets. So whoever went in that hot tub has a great chance of getting rhino (which is major shrinkage of penis or breast) Check you might be infected.

The_rhino also raped a teddy bear. If you know his where abouts do not inform a mod cause they’ll only ignore his antics. He could rape your teddy in front of you and there advice would be to “ignore it and he’ll go away.” And what are you left with? That’s right rhino sperm. Nasty.

Ilovestewie just found out her birds get more action than she ever did. She was so depressed she bought herself a huge bird cage in hopes it would attract a cute love bird for herself. She even blasted Pink Floyd. Results have yet to surface.

Thestreetfighter wet to Texas to find out how tough San Antonio is. He never made it because he ran over an armadillo and cried. He then became depressed for five days and went on Prozac.

Minion’s favorite pass time is to hide in the bushes and surprise people by shooting them with rubber bands in the FACE.

CoffeeShopLame has become stealth and while stealth he counts how many times women adjust their bras. It’s his most exciting time of the day. Average adjustments? Twelve.

Speaking of Twelve ….. actually there’s nothing to say about him. He’s so wholesome like whole wheat bread. Well without the wheat.

Jerra has gone missing. A search party was created but because the party was hosted by Ronald_mcd’s house. Everyone got drunk and passed out. Several awoke to the smell of sex and throw up. Who got the throw up and who got the sex? Good question.

Crazy_Carnation and Practical-magik were not washed away do to the major raining. Instead they both got a much needed bath due to their apparent addiction to SCN. They’ve skipped a total number of 42 baths.

Jammer has been photographed whipping Topanga while she slaves away at making cards. This is why she has not been seen for several days at a time. When she is seen she is quick to state how much she loves making the cards. Lies.

FFFanatic has been kidnapped. More on that when more people care.

Thesmartdude’s TV series has become a smash hit even though a ton of people have called it BS.

LeoJW has been spotted spewing his self hate in several threads. He might be lynched by no0bs. Odd.

Bobwantsyou has skipped out on BS all together. Some think she is cheating with another forum like the … pets forum. Naughty puppy…naughty. *hits hand with rolled up newspaper*

There isn’t enough tabloid material to make this any worse than it already is.

Be careful the eyes are watching. And until next time keep your shades close and your shoes inside.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Tabloid Seven

Will got a new dog. The dog is strong, so he named it Power. The SPCA took the dog this morning because he abused Power.

Marc’s love affair for Mario is becoming stranger because he made a live scale model to sit with him while he plays any Mario game. He even shares cookies with him.

Speaking of cookies Marc has ate 100 cookies and has shared zero. Someone must fix that.

BigTuna is creating a film via Hoboing for money. Instead of asking for money he has robbed several members at angel poin. What is angel point? Well since BigTuna is Jesus he uses an angel that says, “Igve BigTuna money or I’ll snap my fingers and you’ll die.” No one has died yet since all have given money.

Big Mac With Cheese has been going to Sarcasm School. She has tried three classes and has failed. But at least she practices. One day she might get it right.

Stinker has been transformed into a barnical that has attached to Will's hull. How to remove her? You can't. It's too late.

Be careful of the Zombie Whores. there are now three of them. Do not quote them at all or they'll bite you. Who are they? Guess and check bud, guess and check.

ElemntSktGirl was sent to an insane asylum becuse her mind will not allow her to speak of anything other than Science. Ask her a simple question (not dealing with science) and you might get an answer dealing with microbiology. Visitors can see her from 1pm - 7pm Thursday - Sunday. Yes Will has been there everyday.

BigDaddyQuad has been hired as PR for BS Forum. His first job is to make sure everyone on the site knows that BS is a place of love and caring. Of course he has failed but that is of no consequence. Next he’ll try to convince the intelligent people that the StreetFighter is a funny joke.

UKStyle called the posters of BS too stupid to grasp the Tabloid as a joke. He has started an early run for president because he denied ever saying it even though he was recorded. Well Played Mr. President, well played.

Ronald_mcd went to a strip club. He saw TouchedByTheSun giving a lap dance to Tomkye. He tried to get a few shots with his camera phone but mvwriter got in the way. When Bobwantsyou came in, unannounced, and saw mvwriter dancing for him she rawred. There was a dog fight. There was no winner, but there were two losers. They both went to the hospital and came out with broken uteruses. BigDaddyQuad – a doctor as well – said they will heal just no sex for them. Ronald_mcd cried himself to sleep for lack of female attention due to the damage.

Speaking of uteruses it was shown that Canadas’s class about “Destory a uterus” was taken by both mvwriter and Bobwantsyou. Her class is $150 a person for a four hour class. This was good publicity for her “Rip a uterus” class. Want to sign up call 1-800-555-FPart.

_Jacob_ and Minion are best friends due to baseball. Baseball rocks their Sox.

TheStreetFigher has a fan club and Jeff is president, Iwetarded is the secretary and Minion is the Vice President. It’s odd they’d have a fan club for themselves.

Dust is travling from Africa to Florida. Agent69 plans on getting high off of it. Phoenix89 has been her drug consultant. I guess he was trying to explain how to accomplish this huge feat of sniffing up the great dust from Africa.

Also Phoenix89 lost the moon. Luck for him Marc found it in Minion’s backyard. Minion was trying to get Pink Floyd to sign the Darkside.

Wutsahppening2me is a beach bum. Watch out she has been spotted stealing things such as boy friends. Paz was stolen last week and no one has seen him since.

Im_the_man has been missing. But no one has reported it.

Be careful the eyes are watching. And until next time keep your shades close and your shoes inside.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Tabloid Six

Minion was arrested today for being four years old with bad musical taste. No bail was set and his lawyer said, “He hasn’t stopped saying, “One of these days I will cut you into little pieces,” it has yet help in court.

Allaplgs is a Zombie Whore who is walking around. If she bites you that’s it you’re so a whore. Unlike the rest of the zombies she is a Zombie Whore and they like to have sex and then after the sex they like to eat the sexual organs only. She may burp and it might cause you to die due to the rancid smell. It is possible Will is a victim of such an attack but on will never know. She is seductive so don’t allow her to whisper in you ear no only will you enjoy it but she just might rip your ear off and spit it I your face. Not attractive at all.

Jerra and Bigtuna tied the knot on Hurricane Island over the weekend. Don’t call them they so will be busy every single night. Yeah buddy.

There is a list of lovers but an entire thread (in BS) is dedicated to that so no point in rehashing it.

Iwetarded was missing for a while. Why? He said it was computer problems. Was that true? Not in the least. His real problem? He was dating a hillbilly girl and they did everything from hay riding to milking cows together until she dumped him in a pig pen because he would convert to hill billyness or listen to country. Now he’s back to posting.

Bigtuna’s door could be a revolving door. He has had tons of women visiting him under the cover of night. He has been using his healing power to re-virginize them so they can give themselves away again. Cost? A film of the process. He sells it on e-Bay for 75-100 Dollars a pop. Don’t tell Jerra.

FFFanatic has been trying to pimp himself to several different women. None have taken the bait. It might have to do with his need to glue animals together. Weirdo. Soon he’ll be the old man at the corner who has weird noises coming from his house.

Im_The_Man is not allowed to have any female friends because he sexes them.

Ub2019 is very indecisive, so much so he had a hard time deciding if he wanted to be male or female in his mother’s womb. He might be under developed as well. You’ve been warned.

CrazyChick has been enjoying sanity a lot lately. Her craziness ahs been called into question. When asked about it she said, “I am crazy.” Then she took a sip of her tea and turned to the business section in her newspaper.

Darphbobo might be banned (from SCN) but he digs around in the trash that SCN creates looking for scraps. He’s such a hobo.

Topanga invested heavily in cards. It has been reveled that she is addicted to gambling which explains her card infatuation.

Ronald_mcd has filled his pool with beer and promises to break the record of drinking a pool of beer. Former record holder RubDaPimp drank a pool in 4 ½ days. Ronald_mcd said he could do it over a weekend.

Crazy_Carnation has been missing. Last time she was seen was at Will’s pie crusted home learning “American History” she has not come out and Will refuses to say if she is or is not in the house.

Marc bought a Nintendo DS ….. hahahahaha that’s a lie he actually stole it from a little boy and then laughed in his face as he skipped away. Yes skipped. When asked about it he denied it ever occurring and then said, “I love Mario and Lugi.” He has taken a look into legalizing marrying a video game character.

Matlock has left the building. Some chickens cried. Yes chickens have tear ducts so shove it.

Teen_Comedy went to a comic book convention just so he might have the sex with Wonder Woman.

CoffeeShopLame died in a rock climbing accident. It was said he forgot to pretend he was alive.

Rissa has thrown up her last time today. Tomorrow is a new day.

Jammer was turned into a puppy and kicked several times until he spit up blood and hummus. Odd thing is he never had hummus.

Be careful the eyes are watching. And until next time keep your shades close and your shoes inside.

Tabloid Five

Will320069 has been communicating secretly with Ashxo through Mores Code. It has been translated into conversations about who has better pie Canada or America. But pie could also mean condom. Odd—but there are cherry condoms. I don’t think there are apple condoms though, so maybe it was just pie.

Bobwantsyou got a new truck. She now has a new way to transport Mexicans from Mexico. She may slam them but truth be told she can’t get enough of them. Well their food, she can’t get enough of their food. She is very picky about how her tortillas are made. She has yet to find an illegal that can make them the right way. Mexico’s population dwindles as her obsession has yet to be stopped.

Iwantcandie has made several sigs for several different people. They are hand crafted with paint. What is not being shared is it’s a type of branding. Everyone who uses the hand painted sigs are now part of her herd. She plans to take all of her herd and make them into glue. GLUE! She’s figured out how to make a special sticky gluey glue. She needs this glue to fix her broken chastity belt. Why? Goinnowhereslow finds it extremely hot when he’s girls wear the belt. She lost it to a very active monkey.

Streetfighter and Dainelontheweb were to fight in the BS arena. It was canceled because the Streetfighter is allergic to orange Juice. If he drinks it he breaks out in a rash around the mouth. Wuss.

Airchick is becoming a famous BS model. She has started modeling male T-Shirts. She raises the temperature several thousand degrees. She Is taken though so keep your BS paws to yourself.

Will320069 and Minion123 have been spotted drinking kool-aide in a sports bar. I suppose it could be powerade but not sure. There conversation was said to be intense enough to look like it was to accelerate into a bar brawl. This was not the first time they’ve been seen together. But it’s never been more than just about baseball. Yet.

Speaking of Minion123 he’s the new mod. Yes he slept his way to the top. Who he’s slept with is going to be listed in the next Tabloid.

And on last thing on Minion123 he andBig Mac With Cheese were at a candle lit dinner. Minion123 was said to keep saying, “You look so nice tonight.” She would deny it. That was the theme of the entire conversation all night long. It got so boring my source lit the restaurant on fire just to tend the repetitive conversation. No one died in the fire though as Minion123 and Big Mac With Cheese ran to escape the fire their conversation lived.

Jakethesnake has entered himself into a 12 step program for addiction to the internet. Don’t you laugh because he’s entered all of BS and our first meeting is this Wednesday at 7:30p. Be there or be Square.

Goinnnowhereslow has quit. Why? Some global mods don’t bathe and that has taken its toll on the very clean Goinnowhereslow.

Ub2019 was found under Bobwantsyou. What did he have for the reason of where he was found? That’s a good question. The only audible noise that could be taken form the entire scene was his moaning. As great as that sounds it was far less great if you knew the context. Bobwantsyou was trying to get cereal out of the top shelf. While she was up there she slipped on the water that was left by Ashxo’s messy water pouring and Ub2019 caught her. Well the force was too much and he fell on the ground. When she followed suit—because she couldn’t stop—she elbowed him in the penis. So his moaning has nothing to do with something sexual but everything to do with someone touching his penis in a very bad way. Ice was applied by he was denied his request for an oral cleaning.

FFFanatic patience was tested one day and it seems he really doesn’t have any. People often ask why is he so short? Well the story goes like this: He was told to stay in the incubator (he is an alien and that’s how they got their nutrients to be big strong aliens) and he refused. He left early. So from then on he’s been short and has started to become shorter. She want being impatient gets you? That’s right the short end of the “stick”. Take that however you want. So from then on his patience has been showcased as short. Just remember—for all you judging people—those who are shorter than average have the short patience and tempers. But that’s for another story and another day.

J_Jammer has whined none stop about his tummy. Alien detection devices have indicated he is with alien. If his whining is any indication (and it probably isn’t) this alien must be 20 stories high and weigh 40 billion tons. But of course that’s not possible. I just hope this alien isn’t just 3 pounds. Suck it up Jammer I’ve had worst squeeze its way out my anus than an alien ripping through your stomach.

Rissa812 has been spotted which is amazing considering how much she throws up after each meal. Sources say that they’ve heard her throw up four cows and two horses and yet still are able to see her walk out of the stall. What is even more amazing is that she opens the stall door. One would think she is skinny enough to fit through the door slits on either side. Guess not.

Kgthdc2468’s post are laced with Nintendo subliminal messages. So be careful when you read them because if you do read them you’ll end up wanting something from Nintendo. He’s just a Nintendo spy. Yeah he is. Kick him out already. Playstation and X-Box have already sent out sharpshooters and claim Kgthdc2468 will be dead by the end of the week. One can only hope right obi-wan?

TouchTheSun should so she would rid this world of her panda hate. Burn in the pits of evil sun you demonic heathen.

Be careful the eyes are watching. And until next time keep your shades close and your shoes inside.

Tabloid Four

Topanga was arrested for being the head of a Photoshop ring. She was busted while making pictures of her unannounced trip to Hawaii to be later posted as if she went. LeoJW was her accomplice. He cried when they yelled at him to drop the mouse. Yard Dinner will be watched by Will. No pie for no one now. *tear*

Phoenix_89 is running for president. A poster for his campaign has been leaked. It has him flicking off the camera with the caption “I Want To F**K YOU.” ElementSkateGrl is said to be vice President. She has a similar picture with her though her caption says “I want to F**K you too!” They are sponsored by the LPF (Legalize Pot Foundation) and the Girls Can Skate To You Loser! (GCSYL).

A spaceship has landed in BS and Trey05 was thrown out. The aliens regret taking him. However they still have Jacob because he knows the magic of M&Ms and probing.

Mvwriter and Bobwantsyou got into a bloody cat fight outside of Tomtyke’s house. He had the video camera out recording blow by blow. It is uncertain if he provoked such a fight but it is known he has been with both women during the past week. Several witnesses state they’ve heard three voices going at it. So maybe he had both at the same time? Smart man.

Seren_dipity and TrappedInMyMind have left us. They used BS as a hideout and then left when they got what they wanted from GayLand. You can’t taste BS and then leave forever. They’ll be back. Yeah they will. It was said they left because they were getting hit on women and that wasn’t going to cut it for them. So they vaginas scared them away.

Speaking of vaginas…Big Mac With Cheese has randomly attacked pedestrians as she walked down the street. The cops have tried to cattle prod her but it only made her more angry. They have yet to catch her. Be careful.

Ub2019 has taken Agent69 and hidden her from all. It’s not really understood what he’s doing but it’s apparent that he’s not using her as a sex slave. He’s using her more like a maid. His friends have said his house has become amazingly clean. It’s weird because he isn’t a very clean person so to see his home so the clean has freaked them out. They looked all over the house to find out where he was hiding all the trash when they found Agent69 bound and gagged. They promise they didn’t take advantage of her while they called the cops on him. But they might be the three guys who were rushed to the hospital because of having their penis bitten off. Ub2019 must have moved her because when the cops arrived they didn’t find a trace of her where the “witnesses” said they saw her. So if you’ve seen her call the appropriate authorities so that this mystery can be solved.

Besides beating the blood out of someone’s body Bobwantsyou has went into the movie business. She has hired mostly friends and has started filming a horror film. The film that was found was not of a horror film but an orgy. Surprised? Shouldn’t be. Though if you want to see it you should have been at Ronald_mcd’s house yesterday because he got drunk enough to share the video with several people. Soon he had people coming in from all over to view it—for a fee of course. They had to bring beer. 6 pack for one person and 12 for 2 and so forth. Ashxo denies funding the film and says that there really is a horror film being made. But if you saw the orgy film you might think it was the horror film in question. The film company BS All The Time wants to know where the Horror film is and state they did NOT fund a porn no matter what the video states in the beginning.

Minion123 has not been on in a few days mainly because he actually got a ticket to Live8 and saw Pink Floyd in London and instead of getting back to England he decided to be a groupie even though there are no future dates for Pink Floyd.

The famous Bunne was spotted hoping around the BS forum but it was a shock to some to find out she wasn’t really here at all. Some are still at a lost for they never saw the Bunne for real.

Thesmartdude has appeared at a barn and has been trying very hard to get rid of two cows. But even though there is a major cow lover in BS he just couldn’t get rid of it. Nobody seems to want a cow no matter how much milk they give. If the cows could be slaughtered I’m sure there would be lots of steak lovers salivating for a piece of that meat. The mooing is relaxing. I’ll buy one to moo me to sleep.

A bad case of mono has been found in the kissing thread. Too bad.

A bad case of AIDs was found in the “would you have sex with the person above you” thread. Really too bad.

Will’s “Thing” became a thread topic. Really, really too bad.

Every single thing has turned into a contest in BS. The movie thread had everyone pulling out movies from their grade school their mommy filmed just so they could win at seeing the most movies. Moving the most also turned into a huge deal as in “I moved more than you did har, har, har!” But the on thing that won’t turn into a contest is “I’m more emo than you” because emo backlash was found in the emo hair thread. Hate on the boys with the long hair. Some of them did look a little like a girl. Pigtails would rock their socks man.

Rayist has put on display his art work. It has got good reviews from several people but not enough to ensure its greatness. It is an interesting set of art work. But I’ll be more interested on how he handles the negative. So far the majority that have seen it have come out of the exhibit of work with a huge smile of WOW so that could be a great thing for him. His other sets have no dates set to when they’ll be shown. He did state that he photoshoped them with his face and his brother’s. But that would be a lie because he owns a basement and in that basement are several people that have been mutilated to fit his artistic design. He has mutilated people and sowed them together and then forced them to have their pictures taken. Yes Rayist is a sick, sick person. Boo on him and his evil.

There have been rumors about the validly of several of the newly made Jedi as if they shouldn’t exist. The whispering has occurred in the shadows so the exact person who said it can’t really be reveled. But it was one person who was speaking to one Jedi. There’s slander in Jedi land. If the Jedi slander there is no hope for the rest of us.

The Wall Of Random has extended another few hundred feet due to public need. The wall was created for all the random tags that were occurring to all the buildings. The idea was to keep all the random in one place. But unbeknownst to the creator and those that agreed the wall has taken over the city. It has become longer and larger than any other wall and buildings that exist. There is more concrete that makes that wall than in any building of all the city. There are even rumors that the wall has more concrete than any building in the nation. It has become a mainstay and a token to BS but there are always terrorist threats to destroy it. No security has been placed to protect the wall but it gets so many visitors a day the city thinks there is no need.

Rissa812 was heard in the bathroom puking her guts out after she ate a banana. She was seen, also, stabbing a voodoo doll that looked a lot like Phoenix_89. In a related story Phoenix_89 has said he felt shooting pains in his penis all day. The people listening to his speech as to why he should be president found that odd. Now they shouldn’t. Voodoo is real. Tell your children.

The horror movie may not have been made but BS is it’s own horror movie (or Whore movie) and Dajumez is still well and alive. Booya!

RubDaPimp is compiling a new list for his classic Pimp List. Wanna be on the list? Tag him and say so.

Darphbobo’s ghost was spotted near the library. It was also spotted around the watering hole trying to drink water. Silly ghost.

Two of BS mods have be AWOL and the reason for that is because they’ve been killed. Who did it? If you have and idea you should tag me, I would like to know.

Twelve has not been around either and that would be because he’s been dismantled. His arms and legs were found at mvwriter’s house. Why? I don’t know I’m not a detective ask Minion he’s the BS detective or so says some of y’all.

Canadass has given Airchick an avatar for Operation Confusion and it was the talk of BS for the amount of WHOA it has. Many love it and many want one just like it but with their name---Canadass’s phone has been ringing off the hook from everyone who wants an avatar made by her. Airchick’s to Canadass is hot as well but the buzz is all around Canadass’s avatar to Arichick. There are puddles of drool everywhere.

Speaking of Avatars Bobwantsyou’s picture could be found as Ashxo’s Avatar early yesterday. If you missed it I saved it just for you.

Minion has converted several to the love of Pink Floyd. Several have talked about them in the Live8 thread and two persons avatar have Pink Floyd in them. His perseverance has been working. Soon everyone will be a brick in the wall.

Be careful the eyes are watching. And until next time keep your shades close and your shoes inside.

Tabloid Three

Will320069 and mvwriter have been spotted sharing a milkshake at the BS Yard Dinner owned by Topanga. Photos have been obtained of them holding hands and sharing long glances. Mvwriter even started giggling at one point. Money passed from mvwriter to Will. This confirms Will is pimp or some type of gigolo. Either way Will’s milkshake has brought all the girls to the Yard and their like- mmmm Vanilla. They would have shared a pie but Topanga rand out due to Will’s addiction.

UKStyle, under public pressure to be cool, sent the dog to the pound.

CoffeeShopLame has been secretly going over to Wutshappening2me’s place for late night photo sessions. This camera whoring probably lead to other types of “whoring” and all whoring was clocked to last hours. The maid said she heard the moaning phrases such as, “Paz take your shirt off,” and “I’m going to eat you.”

Airchick has tailnapped Tail and Jammer has cried himself to sleep four out of five nights for the past week. The Pandas tried to comfort him but he’s a big baby so they gave up on curing his heartache. If you see Airchick or Tail (looks like a monkey’s tail) you are to use extreme force to get Tail away from the armed assailant. 200,000 points will be awarded for her capture as long as she is alive. Should she be killed no points will be awarded but a party will be thrown in your honor. If you have any Kleenex Jammer would love to have some. He is going though a box an hour.

Jakethesnake’s parents are out of the house for an entire week. He was going to have a few friends over for a gathering. But because a few is not good enough it is being advertised here. Jakethesnake loves the surprise of massive amounts of people showing up at his house at all hours of the day and night to party with him. He loves to wake up to the smell of alcohol educed vomit every morning. He also loves to clean piss off the walls and sex stains on his parent’s sheets. So come and have fun—because it’s not fun unless you screw up someone else’s life.

Sere_Dipity takes caffeine pills. That is all.

Dark_Razzel likes to lick the sugar off of donuts before handing them out to the homeless.

Minion123 was spotted trying to abduct Pink Floyd while they were using the men’s room at a local pub. Witnesses state he kept saying, “One of these days I’m going to cut you into little pieces.” He did, however, jump in a get away car which was driven by Ilovestewie the crazy bird lady. Our sources tried to get him on the phone to interview him but he never answered and then ended up blocking our number.

Forver_10yr_old isn’t.

Darphbobo is next in line for penis reconstruction after Twelve has that many inches grafted with scrap metal.

Adopt a no0b might turn into a new craze. If this is the case blame Gay and Lesbian Forum for they are starting it.

This just in Airchick and Jammer are getting a divorce. Airchick tried cutting off Jammer’s penis with an ax but cut his leg off instead.

Raycist went streaking and a gust of wind blew him down and he was anchored to the ground due to over sized gentiles.

Flesh_Into_Gear flashed radio DJs for free tickets to see Green Day.

Thesmartdude took a test via internet and got a 35% normalcy rating. He did cry for 2.5 seconds and then ate a tub of ice-cream with a fork.

SpecialK was arrested for being special. She was sent through a metal detector and after 20 times they figured out that she had a metal plate in her head that detached reality from fantasy. If you would like to donate to the SpecialK fund please don’t. Thanks.

Sorry---information was limited due to a black out we had. Most of our info was deleted. Next time will be better.

Be careful the eyes are watching. And until next time keep your shades close and your shoes inside.

Tabloid Two

Seren_dipity & TrappedInMyMind have invaded the sacred BS forum. Why? It seems anyone coming from any other forum has to come with another person. It’s like a Noah’s ark thing. Freakin’ Bible thumpers---gosh. Anyway I hear the reason that they are here is because they were attacked by angry homeless people. Yes that does suck being attacked by people that don’t bathe. They attacked them with clumps of dirt that the homeless people had stored away in the dark pits of their body. Don’t ask. So they come here (more ways than one) to try and take over the entire forum. So add them to the list of meanie heads trying to convert BS for their own agenda. If you can’t count this now makes four people.

C0urtz has returned from the dark regions of hell. The reason hell let her go is because she promises to bring several people back to take her place. See hell loved her and really didn’t want to give her up. But for several more souls it decided what the hell. So C0urtz is here to take some of y’all back. Be careful of her and her questions. Answer the wrong ones she’ll snag your soul. See the soul has a combination on it. Only those that know the combination will unlock the soul. The combination works by saying certain words within a span of a day. If the words are said in a certain order then BAM your soul is so going to the person that opened the lock. Will you notice? Uh no duh. Gosh Google it or something. You have been warned. Don’t be mad C0urtz you know it’s the truth.

Agent69 has been laying low (hahaha sorry) and has not surfaced often. She’s searching people. Don’t be the one that gets snagged for the rough scab making sex. It hurts. Just take my 3 years (yes I said years no minutes) experience to heart.

Dajumez was seen fumbling through the dark. Night vision goggles were used. Don’t ask who it was they are to be kept top secret. He was in someone’s room looking through their private things. Private things as in the drawer of the panties and stuff like that there. CrazyChic had arrived home early this night (yeah he’s done it several times) and faster than a cockroach in a crack house he scattered to get under the bed. He couldn’t see so he stumped his toe on one of the cement blocks that held up the bed. He yelped. She found him. And just like porn gone wrong she screamed. So if you’ve seen the limping Dajumez he’s wanted for panty sniffing. Oh he still has the panties that have the phrase “scratch and sniff” on them.

Im_the_Man had a “Appreciate Virgin” night at the local 24 Hour News Stand. Yeah weird but hands down it is the coolest place to have it you must agree. Moving on he gave praises to everyone that showed up and how they are so awesome for being the way they were. From the pictures taken by the awesome photographer that makes Peter Parker look like he has web in his eye these guys don’t look like it was a choice matter to be a virgin. Hahahahahahahahhaha losers. There was a part of the meeting that had people stand up and say something. “I’m still a virgin is this weird?” Was a question asked by a 6 year old. Weird you are dear boy, weird you are.

Tomtyke may moonlight as a gremlin but that’s not all he moonlights as. Okay so he’s not some sort of guy that dresses up like a woman. That is what moonlighting would indicate. Therefore I shouldn’t of use the word. Sorry. Get over it. Okay so here it is he has the cool restaurant up town on the posh side. Everyone loves it. It’s the place to go for a good stake or hamburger. They say the meat is so baby fresh so to speak. Well how sad they must feel when they found out that it was actually babies. We have photos of Tomtyke scavenging through the trashcans of the abortion clinics owned ElementSktGirl and Bigtuna. He might as well ask them to deliver the babies straight to his kitchen because he practically cleans the trash can out. Oh and he really does clean it out—he licks it clean. One of his best friends states that he loves the taste of abortion blood. Tasty. RubDaPimp and TransmissionNOTHING are his two chiefs. They have been praised for their great work making the meat tender and smooth. MmmMM makes you hungry right? It better because it’s still open. He even caters. His number is 1-800-Eat-Baby. He’s so clever.

Duffman7 is new to the BS way of life but he isn’t so new because we’ve seen him before. Well not really but when you see one twin you practically know what the other one looks like. That’s right he’s a twin with no one other than Jammer. Jammer had given him advice to speak to Minion because unknown to everyone – for a while now – he’s a Jedi Master in hiding. Jammer and Duffman7 are twins but odd twins because Jammer is much older than Duffman7. It was an Odd Birth. Jammer was born first and then 10 years later Duffman7 was born and they’ve looked the same ever since. Some have even speculated (nasty thought) that Jammer is really his father. Shocking. Minion laughed off Duffman7 to train him in the ways of the light side. So Duffman7 trashed a hotel room and spit on a dog and now says he will find someone to train him and then prove Minion wrong. Minion says that he’s never wrong so BOOM and then he blasted Pink Floyd and danced with a light saber like it was a baton or something.

Dom69 just signed with a boy band. Their name has not been decided on. They are still looking for two more members. Will320069 tried out but the hoody muffled his singing and they couldn’t have a muffler on the band so they told him no. Raycist tried out but was denied since he wanted to sing nude. They did, however, give his “head” shots to Bobwantsyou. She was spotted going to a molding shop with picture in hand.

Wutshappening2me was caught red handed with the BS Panty sniffer Dajumez. They were walking into a Victoria Secret. Someone quickly find him before he sniffs more panties of poor unsuspecting girls.

CoffeeShopLame has arrived as a BS Jedi. His master was Minion but he had put in a transfer to be under Will320069 and therefore Will gets the point for bring him to Jedi status really quick. Now they both play with each others light sabers like good Jedi. Marc is sad he can’t join in the fun. He’s still under Minion.

Thesmartdude has invested in BIG doors. He invested his entire life savings into this new industry. He hopes it will take off in the next day or two. But it looks like women are only shooting out vertically challenged kids for the past 20 years. Things don’t look good for the big door business. Nope not at all.

BS Detectives have been trying to figure out whose bloody hand prints are all over a certain someone’s wall. Pictures have surfaced with bloody hands on them. They have analyzed the pictures and found out that the hands do have blood on them but were hidden under some layers of paint. Why someone took a picture of their hands with the evidence on it is unknown by the Detectives. They have stated that Big Mac With Cheese is a suspect as the owner of such hands. The blood was found in an unknown person’s home. The detectives are unsure if the person was murdered or just beaten in the face with an unusually huge pinecone they found on the ground.

The Pandas Cow and Fish have been found wondering the BS Random Forest. If they are not picked up by tonight they will be come the Tabloid’s new Bear rugs. We have snipers standing by.

The BS annual Orgy was canceled due to a ramped case of mad cow. Please get into contact with the Orgy Committee. The following people are on the committee: Ashxo, Ronald_mcd, Bobwantsyou, Raycist, and Phoenix_89.

Pot was found in the mod’s house. It has been speculated that it was placed there during their vacation but Will and Topanga (Steely has been MIA and a search party has been dispatched) have been seen eating massive amounts of Pie. Munchies?

Be careful the eyes are watching. And until next time keep your shades close and your shoes inside.

Tabloid One

What you’re about to read is merely fiction of the highest caliber but based on facts. What kind of facts? The facts are things that are posted and tagged by you the posters.

And now let the Tabloid begin:

My first line of tabloidism is Bobwantsyou and her many lovers. This one is more of an elusive nature. He goes by the name UKStyle and some of you know him as Eddie. In the forums he seems to ignore her constant admiration for his physical features and hammer like intellect, but in the guestbook it’s a different story. You can look but you won’t see the tags because they are all private. Then how do I know that they are there? I have my sources. They are quite the hard workers. They see the tags. I will not disclose the juicy details of the wording they use to converse with one another. I will, however, inform you that they’ve been dating for about 5 months now. They keep it well hidden don’t you think?

So instead of calling them by their long screen names I’ve decided to shorten their names to the following simple name: BobStyle. It sounds like a gay boy band but oh well.

In other news will320069 trashed the finish line when minion123 crossed over it 2 hours before him. Will320069 was ahead of minion123 for a good 2 days but failed to keep up the lead and lost it towards the end. He kicked trees and little puppies as he was informed he was second place. He then proceed to complain about how minion123 picked up speed towards the end of the race and accused him of being on some sort of enhancing drugs. The investigation of the drug accusations are being handled by our very own drug people Phoenix and Raycist. They have informed me that they will have the answer after the come down off the shrooms they just had prier to talking to me.

BigTuna is Jesus. Crucifixion reenactment will occur this afternoon at 4pm central time. BYON. (Bring your own nails.)

More relationship news: Marc and Ash have secretly wed behind a trailer at noon time in the blistering sun. My source has informed me of this just now via Text messaging. I will have to check into the validity of it at a later time. But you heard it here first folks.

Im_The_Man’s list has been the hot topic of many people. Some are delighted to be on the list other’s take the low, low road of saying how they are glad they are not on the list. But those that are not glad are the one’s that continue to bring attention to the list. You would think if they really didn’t like the list that they would shove the attention else where. Like where the sun don’t shine. Ha—HEY that’s not gossip that’s my own bias opinion. Anyway the list is an on going growing thing. It seems to never stop. The reason behind this is to unite the entire forum in a huge ole’ love fest, but it seems to have backfired because so many are not happy with being or not being on the list. Oh and several people on the list slept with him to get on the list. Alkie slept with him and she even filmed it to share with friends. Jammer did too and he didn’t film it but it was on the net anyway and has been download a billion times. It’s because he moans like a goat. Dom69 did and yes that’s where he got the 69 from. And we all know what he sounds like he shared. Twelve tried but then remembered he can’t and decided that his hands do wonders. Iwetarded used his webcam to film something special for him and when I mean special I mean special. I can’t say what was on the video due to rules against such wordings. Goinnowhereslow—let’s just say he wasn’t. Jacob was an M&M’s vending machine if you know what I mean. Darphbobo used his hands and made himself a woman just so he could be on the Queen’s list. Canadass—she used what god gave her and that’s why she’s on the list. IwantcandeE gave more than just candy—wink wink. There are more and I could go on forever about what every did to get on the list but I won’t.

Those that didn’t get on the list just were not good in the sack—that’s that.

BS seems to have been infiltrated by the Relationship forum. FFFanatic and packerfn have been seen around here. The rumor is they are trying to convert BS into a respectable place. Two people can’t make that big of a difference right Phoenix and Ray? No matter at least all you BSers know that they aren’t here to be silly they are here to transform our realm into a proper place of wonder. Do not allow packerfn’s attitude trick you into thinking he’s on of you—because he’s not.

Mvwriter has been seen around BS with will320069. This is interesting because reports show that will320069 has been seen with ElementSktGirl too. And there are even reports that they’ve all been seen together. What is going on here? Well if I left it up to the minds of BS they’d think it was some kind of threesome thing. But that’s lame gossip this here is good gossip. All they’ve been doing is having really boring talks about science. For you that love science I mean to offend and for you that don’t right on. So it looks like they are flirting with each other but it’s just secret code for nerds science crap. They don’t wanna be seen like nerds so they lace all nerd talk with “love stuff” so that they can be looked at as normal BSers.

Agent69 has come in here (yeah that way too) from Sexuality, or whatever it is Sex talk, and tried to convert everyone into sex slaves. It is true. She has caught herself several BSers and they are now all her slaves to do sexual acts day and night. That does sound appealing to some but it’s none stop. You start to chafe and become raw. She’s a maniac. Be careful talking or quoting her because that’s how she hooks you. If you’d like one of her many tapes tag her I’m sure she’ll give you it for a fee of course. Maybe and act.

Topanga said she went to Europe and made this huge deal. Everyone knows she went and most of everyone has seen the pictures. Everyone also should know that she is really good with Photoshop. That is all.

SurvivingBobby popped in to say hi. Why would he do that since he’s been gone so long? He did that because he’s not real. He’s just another screen name for another regular. That’s right that regular is none other than UKStyle. It’s the truth. How else is to let out his inner boy? I don’t know why he mad him gay though. Weird.

Paz went rock climbing one time and you’ll never guess who he rock climbed with? CutiepieK22. They have been seen canoodling in private at parks during midnight. He fronts his hate. Now you know.

And finally in couple news Big Mac With Cheese and Minion123 have been seen holding hands while skipping. They were also seen going into a video store and renting Steel Magnolias. My sources state that this will be their second month and that that movie is their favorite. They have been through so many boxes of Kleenexes that Kleenex has asked them to do a commercial for them offering them a life time supply of their brand as payment. They are still in negotiations at this time. When asked about how his relationship was going with her minion123 said, “BOOM!” I think that says it all folks.

THIS JUST IN: Ronald_mcd was just seen punching walls because he just found out that UKStyle is sleeping with his woman who is only 2 ½ in human years but much older in dog years.

Be careful the eyes are watching. And until next time keep your shades close and your shoes inside.