Tabloid Five

Will320069 has been communicating secretly with Ashxo through Mores Code. It has been translated into conversations about who has better pie Canada or America. But pie could also mean condom. Odd—but there are cherry condoms. I don’t think there are apple condoms though, so maybe it was just pie.

Bobwantsyou got a new truck. She now has a new way to transport Mexicans from Mexico. She may slam them but truth be told she can’t get enough of them. Well their food, she can’t get enough of their food. She is very picky about how her tortillas are made. She has yet to find an illegal that can make them the right way. Mexico’s population dwindles as her obsession has yet to be stopped.

Iwantcandie has made several sigs for several different people. They are hand crafted with paint. What is not being shared is it’s a type of branding. Everyone who uses the hand painted sigs are now part of her herd. She plans to take all of her herd and make them into glue. GLUE! She’s figured out how to make a special sticky gluey glue. She needs this glue to fix her broken chastity belt. Why? Goinnowhereslow finds it extremely hot when he’s girls wear the belt. She lost it to a very active monkey.

Streetfighter and Dainelontheweb were to fight in the BS arena. It was canceled because the Streetfighter is allergic to orange Juice. If he drinks it he breaks out in a rash around the mouth. Wuss.

Airchick is becoming a famous BS model. She has started modeling male T-Shirts. She raises the temperature several thousand degrees. She Is taken though so keep your BS paws to yourself.

Will320069 and Minion123 have been spotted drinking kool-aide in a sports bar. I suppose it could be powerade but not sure. There conversation was said to be intense enough to look like it was to accelerate into a bar brawl. This was not the first time they’ve been seen together. But it’s never been more than just about baseball. Yet.

Speaking of Minion123 he’s the new mod. Yes he slept his way to the top. Who he’s slept with is going to be listed in the next Tabloid.

And on last thing on Minion123 he andBig Mac With Cheese were at a candle lit dinner. Minion123 was said to keep saying, “You look so nice tonight.” She would deny it. That was the theme of the entire conversation all night long. It got so boring my source lit the restaurant on fire just to tend the repetitive conversation. No one died in the fire though as Minion123 and Big Mac With Cheese ran to escape the fire their conversation lived.

Jakethesnake has entered himself into a 12 step program for addiction to the internet. Don’t you laugh because he’s entered all of BS and our first meeting is this Wednesday at 7:30p. Be there or be Square.

Goinnnowhereslow has quit. Why? Some global mods don’t bathe and that has taken its toll on the very clean Goinnowhereslow.

Ub2019 was found under Bobwantsyou. What did he have for the reason of where he was found? That’s a good question. The only audible noise that could be taken form the entire scene was his moaning. As great as that sounds it was far less great if you knew the context. Bobwantsyou was trying to get cereal out of the top shelf. While she was up there she slipped on the water that was left by Ashxo’s messy water pouring and Ub2019 caught her. Well the force was too much and he fell on the ground. When she followed suit—because she couldn’t stop—she elbowed him in the penis. So his moaning has nothing to do with something sexual but everything to do with someone touching his penis in a very bad way. Ice was applied by he was denied his request for an oral cleaning.

FFFanatic patience was tested one day and it seems he really doesn’t have any. People often ask why is he so short? Well the story goes like this: He was told to stay in the incubator (he is an alien and that’s how they got their nutrients to be big strong aliens) and he refused. He left early. So from then on he’s been short and has started to become shorter. She want being impatient gets you? That’s right the short end of the “stick”. Take that however you want. So from then on his patience has been showcased as short. Just remember—for all you judging people—those who are shorter than average have the short patience and tempers. But that’s for another story and another day.

J_Jammer has whined none stop about his tummy. Alien detection devices have indicated he is with alien. If his whining is any indication (and it probably isn’t) this alien must be 20 stories high and weigh 40 billion tons. But of course that’s not possible. I just hope this alien isn’t just 3 pounds. Suck it up Jammer I’ve had worst squeeze its way out my anus than an alien ripping through your stomach.

Rissa812 has been spotted which is amazing considering how much she throws up after each meal. Sources say that they’ve heard her throw up four cows and two horses and yet still are able to see her walk out of the stall. What is even more amazing is that she opens the stall door. One would think she is skinny enough to fit through the door slits on either side. Guess not.

Kgthdc2468’s post are laced with Nintendo subliminal messages. So be careful when you read them because if you do read them you’ll end up wanting something from Nintendo. He’s just a Nintendo spy. Yeah he is. Kick him out already. Playstation and X-Box have already sent out sharpshooters and claim Kgthdc2468 will be dead by the end of the week. One can only hope right obi-wan?

TouchTheSun should so she would rid this world of her panda hate. Burn in the pits of evil sun you demonic heathen.

Be careful the eyes are watching. And until next time keep your shades close and your shoes inside.