Tabloid Six

Minion was arrested today for being four years old with bad musical taste. No bail was set and his lawyer said, “He hasn’t stopped saying, “One of these days I will cut you into little pieces,” it has yet help in court.

Allaplgs is a Zombie Whore who is walking around. If she bites you that’s it you’re so a whore. Unlike the rest of the zombies she is a Zombie Whore and they like to have sex and then after the sex they like to eat the sexual organs only. She may burp and it might cause you to die due to the rancid smell. It is possible Will is a victim of such an attack but on will never know. She is seductive so don’t allow her to whisper in you ear no only will you enjoy it but she just might rip your ear off and spit it I your face. Not attractive at all.

Jerra and Bigtuna tied the knot on Hurricane Island over the weekend. Don’t call them they so will be busy every single night. Yeah buddy.

There is a list of lovers but an entire thread (in BS) is dedicated to that so no point in rehashing it.

Iwetarded was missing for a while. Why? He said it was computer problems. Was that true? Not in the least. His real problem? He was dating a hillbilly girl and they did everything from hay riding to milking cows together until she dumped him in a pig pen because he would convert to hill billyness or listen to country. Now he’s back to posting.

Bigtuna’s door could be a revolving door. He has had tons of women visiting him under the cover of night. He has been using his healing power to re-virginize them so they can give themselves away again. Cost? A film of the process. He sells it on e-Bay for 75-100 Dollars a pop. Don’t tell Jerra.

FFFanatic has been trying to pimp himself to several different women. None have taken the bait. It might have to do with his need to glue animals together. Weirdo. Soon he’ll be the old man at the corner who has weird noises coming from his house.

Im_The_Man is not allowed to have any female friends because he sexes them.

Ub2019 is very indecisive, so much so he had a hard time deciding if he wanted to be male or female in his mother’s womb. He might be under developed as well. You’ve been warned.

CrazyChick has been enjoying sanity a lot lately. Her craziness ahs been called into question. When asked about it she said, “I am crazy.” Then she took a sip of her tea and turned to the business section in her newspaper.

Darphbobo might be banned (from SCN) but he digs around in the trash that SCN creates looking for scraps. He’s such a hobo.

Topanga invested heavily in cards. It has been reveled that she is addicted to gambling which explains her card infatuation.

Ronald_mcd has filled his pool with beer and promises to break the record of drinking a pool of beer. Former record holder RubDaPimp drank a pool in 4 ½ days. Ronald_mcd said he could do it over a weekend.

Crazy_Carnation has been missing. Last time she was seen was at Will’s pie crusted home learning “American History” she has not come out and Will refuses to say if she is or is not in the house.

Marc bought a Nintendo DS ….. hahahahaha that’s a lie he actually stole it from a little boy and then laughed in his face as he skipped away. Yes skipped. When asked about it he denied it ever occurring and then said, “I love Mario and Lugi.” He has taken a look into legalizing marrying a video game character.

Matlock has left the building. Some chickens cried. Yes chickens have tear ducts so shove it.

Teen_Comedy went to a comic book convention just so he might have the sex with Wonder Woman.

CoffeeShopLame died in a rock climbing accident. It was said he forgot to pretend he was alive.

Rissa has thrown up her last time today. Tomorrow is a new day.

Jammer was turned into a puppy and kicked several times until he spit up blood and hummus. Odd thing is he never had hummus.

Be careful the eyes are watching. And until next time keep your shades close and your shoes inside.